I stood in front of three pictures on my mantle and thought about a story.

It goes along with a story beyond what is seen before my eyes.

There is a theory out there that many believe with this story.

Perhaps you are one of them.  

I know that I was with you many years ago. 

The theory is that there is only one story to what is seen. 

No other parts to be seen, heard or told. 

What is beyond what is seen is not to be told or heard.

What is beyond what is seen is not to be told or heard. 

That is where the theory of only one story can become something more. 

I’m thinking about it now as I stand in this one place. 

Yet, if truth is going to be told, I’ve thought about it before. 

Somehow, the theory is like an iceberg where you only see the tip and there is much more to find beneath the surface. 

This can happen when I’m writing and leave out some parts to strengthen other parts of the story.

It has also happened in life when others don’t see everything that goes on, which can still add to the story being told.

Let’s dive a bit deeper with what is beyond what is seen. 

Just like the iceberg theory there is more to see, heard or told in most stories. 

In the iceberg you see here, there are parts of a story that came to be over time. 

This iceberg shows many moving parts between a child and parent. 

They involved smiles, 

disabilities, 

systems, 

unknowns, and 

moments of grief. 

That is only what could be seen, my friends. 

Now we go into even deeper water. 

What is the story beyond what you see there?

What is the story beyond what you see there? 

Becoming resilient, 

learning new ways to communicate, 

fears about now and the future, 

cultural expectations, 

other losses and 

many questions. 

The stories abounded around those questions and that is where I’d like to share more. 

That theory with some stories is that it is a neat and tidy beginning, middle and end is make-believe.

Questions coming at any point may bring a disruption which may not feel welcome. 

Meetings were held quickly, and I was expected to agree almost every time with what was being said. 

Do you see a time when there was an expectation to always be ok in this iceberg theory? 

That is in relation to the broad canyon that opened when life was not ok for this child and questions needed to be asked. 

What I began to know more about was that when the answers were ‘We’re not sure, let’s find out more together’, it was then when others in the room wanted to know along with me.

One time, I asked how we could increase joy in life by working on a specific goal for our child, while also keeping some of his strength. 

Joy and work? Was it possible? 

The group realized that both were good goals so we looked beyond what we could see to find a new way to do both. 

That’s how we did it one time, then again and finally for a third time.

Being able to ask about who could do what, when and why they would do it brought the smiles back to our child. 

The story could always include more than what you saw.

It was then that I knew that the story could always include more than what you saw. 

Over the coming golden years, I could find myself and grand groups looking for ways to bring smiles for miles to the child who grew into a tall one. 

While I now know that there may always be a time when I need to look for that story beyond what I see, I also know that I will be able to pause in front of the pictures to find it. 

To look for joy alongside the work, become resilient with continued parts of life happening right under the surface. 

Go deep to sit with the expectations, grief and what else may be there. 

We can do it together as we create more grand groups to smile for miles.

Additional reading: 

The Boy Who Became More Than We Could Imagine 

Writing 

#33   My Muse 

#100 The Point Is That They Lived