Imagine a time when you can hear violins in the background. 

What do you feel? 

Is it a calm that comes over you? 

Do you think about the music before the first chair? 

Or are there times when you let your head lay back then energy comes to your mind and body? 

Feel all of that as you think of this. 

Wonder if there is more when music begins. 

A steady rhythm with a beat that helps you rise off the chair comes into play. 

Aahh, now there is something coming with a song in your space. 

This is how the song starts that can pull me back in time to this phrase. 

Come On has been with my steps and I’ve rolled.

Come on Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners has been with my steps and how I’ve rolled for longer than I’ve been in life since my feet danced with friends all night.

The time when I would be at school during the day, go to work then would rush off to more fun with friends to have more energy pulse through me. 

Can you imagine a part of you being around for decades? Then it changes or evolves. 

That is what I’ve been rumbling with recently. 

When I hear a violin, I want to rush forward with the same kind of joy that comes with this music. 

Too Ra Loo raaaaa then the music trails off with more of the steady beat. 

It was never a surprise for me that my feet began to tap when the song came on. 

What did surprise me later was when our son also began to also love the song. 

Then when he began to say come on!

Then when he began to say come on! 

Let’s dance! 

and away we’d go.

Dancing up and down the hallway, then around into a small kitchen before glancing with a joyful smile and adding some sign telling me that he wanted to go around again. 

He became my muse, that one who showed me the way through a second act of life, and the one who was more that could be imagined. 

How is it that one simple pull of a violin bow can bring such excitement to us. 

It was a beautiful turn and swing of our new rhythm that came into play when I learned from him. 

Let’s pay attention to this part of life, mom. 

Can you see that life is important right now? 

Come on, there’s no time to waste, mom.

Here we go again!

Come on, there’s no time to waste, mom. 

There is a complex resilient joy that comes with this song. 

It pulls at me like a bow across the violin strings. 

Slow, steady, mournful, quick, steady, calm and full of emotion. 

Can you see that all of this came to me with this song over time? 

Over moments that surprise me and jostle with like I’m back to living the life of work, the off for more fun. 

Isn’t that how it goes? 

Living and looking forward and being pulled into it all with a violin at the blink of an eye. 

What I now know is that I’m here for it all. 

I’m also grateful for the boy who loved to dance across the house with a smile in his eyes. 

His life still pulls at me and tells me to come on, let’s keep going together. 

What love in all of this, my friends.

I stood in front of three pictures on my mantle and thought about a story.

It goes along with a story beyond what is seen before my eyes.

There is a theory out there that many believe with this story.

Perhaps you are one of them.  

I know that I was with you many years ago. 

The theory is that there is only one story to what is seen. 

No other parts to be seen, heard or told. 

What is beyond what is seen is not to be told or heard.

What is beyond what is seen is not to be told or heard. 

That is where the theory of only one story can become something more. 

I’m thinking about it now as I stand in this one place. 

Yet, if truth is going to be told, I’ve thought about it before. 

Somehow, the theory is like an iceberg where you only see the tip and there is much more to find beneath the surface. 

This can happen when I’m writing and leave out some parts to strengthen other parts of the story.

It has also happened in life when others don’t see everything that goes on, which can still add to the story being told.

Let’s dive a bit deeper with what is beyond what is seen. 

Just like the iceberg theory there is more to see, heard or told in most stories. 

In the iceberg you see here, there are parts of a story that came to be over time. 

This iceberg shows many moving parts between a child and parent. 

They involved smiles, 

disabilities, 

systems, 

unknowns, and 

moments of grief. 

That is only what could be seen, my friends. 

Now we go into even deeper water. 

What is the story beyond what you see there?

What is the story beyond what you see there? 

Becoming resilient, 

learning new ways to communicate, 

fears about now and the future, 

cultural expectations, 

other losses and 

many questions. 

The stories abounded around those questions and that is where I’d like to share more. 

That theory with some stories is that it is a neat and tidy beginning, middle and end is make-believe.

Questions coming at any point may bring a disruption which may not feel welcome. 

Meetings were held quickly, and I was expected to agree almost every time with what was being said. 

Do you see a time when there was an expectation to always be ok in this iceberg theory? 

That is in relation to the broad canyon that opened when life was not ok for this child and questions needed to be asked. 

What I began to know more about was that when the answers were ‘We’re not sure, let’s find out more together’, it was then when others in the room wanted to know along with me.

One time, I asked how we could increase joy in life by working on a specific goal for our child, while also keeping some of his strength. 

Joy and work? Was it possible? 

The group realized that both were good goals so we looked beyond what we could see to find a new way to do both. 

That’s how we did it one time, then again and finally for a third time.

Being able to ask about who could do what, when and why they would do it brought the smiles back to our child. 

The story could always include more than what you saw.

It was then that I knew that the story could always include more than what you saw. 

Over the coming golden years, I could find myself and grand groups looking for ways to bring smiles for miles to the child who grew into a tall one. 

While I now know that there may always be a time when I need to look for that story beyond what I see, I also know that I will be able to pause in front of the pictures to find it. 

To look for joy alongside the work, become resilient with continued parts of life happening right under the surface. 

Go deep to sit with the expectations, grief and what else may be there. 

We can do it together as we create more grand groups to smile for miles.

Additional reading: 

The Boy Who Became More Than We Could Imagine 

Writing 

#33   My Muse 

#100 The Point Is That They Lived

Think about a time when the name of the game was to play.

When games were always around and could show favorite characters. 

Think when a toy or two was all that was needed to bring on the smiles and the laughter. 

Hear that?  It’s the sound of life when it was in sync and rhythm with you. 

When did it happen for you? 

Are you creating it now? 

Perhaps the time when this came to you was long ago such as when it came to me. 

It came to me looking like this.

A toy that came with this saying “ weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”. 

The toys were tough and loved, brought new adventures and also time to learn. 

If the time for you is now, then welcome to a great time in life. 

Look around for others who can come along this time when a toy or two can join in this with you. 

The people that came to me along with these toys were important. 

They were ones who brought me to a new understanding.

They were ones who brought me to a new understanding of how to play with layers of joy.

These little toys were ones that came to our house during this time. 

You can see that they were well loved with the edges of color worn off. 

One even has a layer of clear tape across the middle to show that years of love can be mended. 

This came as small hands gathered the weebles into a pile then scattered them across a small space with a broad smile. 

What could bring this to your home? Find that in your memory now. 

Let’s move forward together. 

Nothing brought these toys down. 

Suddenly, more moments were looking up. If toys can bounce, then perhaps other parts of life could as well. 

Here’s what else I now know about a toy when they don’t fall down.

Here’s what else I now know about a toy when they don’t fall down. 

I learned that life may be like this after watching these toys roll, bounce and pop up again.

There were times when I wanted to be like them. 

It looked like they were resilient and could take whatever came at them. 

The edges without color still brought happiness to at least one person. 

Then I realized that others smiled and loved anything or anyone that had come through a tough time. 

It’s as if these toys were showing that life can be tough and loved, colorful and missing parts, resilient and filled with joy. 

Wondering about this brought me to another thought. 

Becoming resilient and someone like a toy that won’t fall down is a new quest. 

It can be what I have learned from others. 

That’s when the people who came near me at this time taught me a couple things. 

Learning from books about how bodies restart after an illness. 

Knowing which games were the best of all in life and love. 

Looking at colors that stay near as I look up. 

Then this final piece is what I found when things don’t fall down. 

Things that make me happy have come along with these toys. 

Imagine with me that grief, resilience and joy are here together. 

That we can bounce, roll and pop up as many times as we choose or as needed. 

Smiles can be found now as often as they were here in the past with the toys that included a blue monster and two friends. 

I also now know that I can stand in this space with grand memories and that goal of being like a toy that doesn’t fall down.