This has taken me a couple days to write. Have you done that? Something happens. You know the words to say and yet… you wait. Wait until your breath comes back.

That is why these words are coming as I find my feet and my breath again.

These rocks were given to me on a trip to the opposite end of the state from where I live.  A part of the state where I love to visit and will go to in blink of the eye.

That is what I did to be with people I care about, and love to support and then these rocks were Given To Me. Oh my heart.  Given to me by someone who also cares about the people we were with, who will do all she can to support people she cares about And… she loves rocks. I love rocks. There is something about picking up a rock when it catches your eye and holding it and saying, yes, this rock means something to my soul.  I took these rocks with me from the opposite end of the state and back on the road with me to go home. I took the kindness with me and off I went.  Back on the road and headed home.

The road I took is one I have traveled often in the past decades to and from this opposite end of the state. I found the flow of the traffic and off I went.  I had my water, my sunglasses and my gratitude for the good things found on this quick trip. A good ol’ book on CD (yes, on CD) was playing.

And then, a few hours into my return trip I stopped to stretch and look at the sky and get some lunch.  I noticed that I was making great time as I set off again to get home. I love a road trip.

And then, things changed quickly. I was going around a large truck and must have been in the spot where the driver could not see me as suddenly the driver was signaling to come into the lane that I. Was. In. I was there! in that lane.

The moments of clarity became rapid heart rate and honking horn and moving quickly, ever so quickly, oh so quickly onto the gravel shoulder and yet not too far as to hit any of the tall metal poles that line the road before the ravine. Can you feel your heart pick up speed.  Mine is with you! I sped up as well as I could to avoid the smack-scape-roll that might have come and do not remember blinking for what felt like hours and yet was only seconds. The driver must have heard me at the first honk of the horn because he rolled right back over and it was done. Thank you for being a great responsive driver!

Done and I was ahead of the truck.  Back on the road. Safe. I promise I was.  I can tell you I was. Although, My body did not believe me. Flight was in full action.  It was saying full speed ahead.  I was saying no, we are safe. Can you see the open road? It is done.

Breathe. No, my body was reacting and I was working to act. Come back to the front of the brain. You can do this, brain.

Breathe.

And I did. I began to use every breathing technique I could remember. Yoga breathing. Four Square breathing.  Parasympathetic breathing. Nope. Not going to get the flight reaction to be done. Yet.

Ok. Let’s go to grounding. 5 – things I can see. 4 – things I can touch. 3 – things I can hear. 2 – things I can smell. And 1 – thing I can taste. What is that I taste?  Salt? Tears. Tears? Ok. That is ok. Leaky eyes are ok.  Let’s try this again. 5,4,3,2,1.

And then. The rocks came into my memory. Who is my rock? Think, think think.  Brandon. I needed to hear Brandon. That did it. Brandon’s voice brought calm and strength and the front of the brain to its memory that breathing and grounding works. Sometimes the voice outside of my mind is what I need. Sometimes it is what all of us need.

That is what rocks do. They remind us where we come from and the good things that are here. That is what these rocks did for me in a surprising way on a surprising day.