A Name 

 

What’s in a name?  More specifically.  What’s in your name? When you introduce yourself to someone new, how do you do it? 

 

Now, think about it for a moment. 

Do you start with your first name or last name?  Is there a need to add a spelling to the introduction or emphasis on a name pronunciation? 

 

Perhaps you emphasize the first part of your name and let the last roll off your tongue when meeting others. Then there are some names that are instantly memorable and need no additional information. 

 

I can picture them all.  Can you? Do you have your name in mind as we go along?  

 

Superb.  

 

Then there is this name

 

Let me tell you about this name. 

j.DM.

 

That is my name when I am introducing myself in the best role of my life. The little j is there for a very specific reason. 

 

Just Dallin’s Mom. j.DM.  

 

I used this introduction as my name for about a decade when I was next up to tell a group of people who I was.  You will notice that my first and last name was not mentioned.  

 

A-Ha!  Did you not notice that? Others did not notice that either!  

 

I will tell you how the introductions would go. First, who I am.  Then, what we are talking about. 

 

Hi, I am just Dallin’s Mom.   It is great to be here to work on this project. 

This meeting today is about the important next steps we need to take. 

Let me tell you about the legislation I support that will help Dallin.  

Trembling

The number of times I sat with trembling knees and a matching quivering voice to say something that was important and then I started with just.  Just!?  What was going on? 

 

Oh My.  Others in the group would then introduce themselves the same way.  We were powerful advocates disguised as just another group because of this word.  Being a Mom is important and brings knowledge that cannot be experienced any other way. 

 

I started to listen to my words and to the strength it was taking away from me.  Yes, I was at a place to talk and I needed people to listen.  I was the one who could have the words mean more.  

 

It was time to understand and then use the best part of who I was and am.  Dallin’s Mom. 

 

What to do?  I went to training opportunities and listened to others speak from their introductions forward. 

 

I also started to talk about that word that I was using.  When I was using that word as part of my introduction, there was a feeling that my role was not that important so why would others listen to what I was saying.  

 

Did you hear that?  Not that important?  I was one trembling, quivering voiced person who showed up time and time again to all sorts of things for and with Dallin  in the beginning.  Others were doing the same.  

 

You’d best believe it was important. Golly. 

 

I was the one to place that role of being less with that little word in the introduction.  Just.  Surely it was time to be done with that word.  

 

Be gone.    

 

At one time, I was using this set of initials after my name on power point presentations when I was asked to teach a workshop or class at conferences.  I was then able to have a conversation about unintended consequences with session participants. 

 

Doing this created even more of a realization about how far reaching the use of the word just was having on the perceptions of both family members, like myself, and professionals.  

 

Here is the real surprise.   

 

We all use this word to downplay our role in the work and life we lead.  Can you believe this? 

Neither could I!  

 

Here is the other consequence.  I was also confusing participants with these letters.  j.DM.  What does that mean?  Who are you?  What level of doctor is that?  

 

Now, to be honest I present to clinicians, physicians, university staff and researchers so that is where the mind goes when you live in that arena.  I was gently asked to not use the initials at the conferences so the attendees were not confused. 

Who I am

And yet. My credentials of j.DM are a part of a long association with my introduction.  This is who I am, along with the other hats I wear.  

Yes, I did take the initials off after my name on a final slide. 

 

I now have this conversation about perception, words and the way I introduce myself during almost every presentation I give.  It does not have to be next to my name. This is who I am.   

This strip of paper with these initials, my name and a variety of hats that I wear is set in place that I can see every day. The quick creation of it happened almost 8 years ago at the start of a new adventure.

 

It is to remind me that I am and will always be this person.  The simplicity is purposeful. 

 

Yes, I do tremble sometimes when I talk in a group about being Dallin’s Mom.  Now it is with the hope that I always will.  The purpose and hope he taught is tangible and powerful.  

 

What brings you purpose and a bit of trembling power?  May you find it and keep it, my friends.