October 12, 2021

I’m Not a Runner Anymore

I started running when I was in the 7th grade.

Wait. Is that true? Not really. I started running when I was much younger for the fun of it. Because that’s what kids do as soon as we can. Walk to run as quickly as possible.

Let’s go!

I remember running to keep up or to get away or to explore from a very early age with whoever I was with.

Through fields full of grasshoppers and on mountains with boulders. Around the house and out the gate. To the playground and around the bases.

Let’s go back

Now, back to 7th grade. This is when I started to run in a group. Because we had to as part of the class.

Do you remember? Gym class and the twelve minute mile.

I can almost hear the reactions. Moans or dismissals depending on what it was like for you.

I liked this running time. It was a time to run on your own. Do your own thing. Get it done.

Coaches want to coach and that was the case even back in 7th grade for me. The coach would yell something about breathing differently and I would attempt the different technique for a moment before going back to what was working well enough.

Or so I thought.

7th grade through all of high school. Same mile in twelve minutes. Relaxed pace. Solo and yet in a gaggle of teenage bodies.

Can you tell I was not going to improve my personal record?

I would run at home occasionally for fun or to get out. That would be out that back gate, through the neighborhoods and along quiet roads for miles at a time.

Clear my mind

Running became a time to clear my mind and find a pattern of breathing to keep a steady pace. Going up and down the hills in the mornings. Looking up and around at what was always there seemed to slow things down even while life chugged along.

Teenage running. Life is great.

Later, I ran all through being pregnant. A track was across the street so shoes came on and a pace slowed as the months went on. It was different running now. And yet. Running is running!

As our son and his medical world became more complex years later I laced on my shoes and I started to build miles to bring back the love of running. Again.

Clear the mind. Find a time to take a break. Run. That is all I need to do for a few moments.

Create solitude and space.

Suddenly, the miles were coming back and within five minutes my breathing and my mind was clear.

Oh my goodness.

I can feel the pounding in my bones and my lungs right now. Joy.

Racing

This time I added training for races along with running routes and finding a pattern for breathing.

The first race was a ½ marathon. Why not, I ask?

Start at the University, wind and twist through random streets and end at an open air mall.

It will be fun, they said. A quick run, they said.

They were right. I wanted to do more.

The next race was a leap frog sort of race where 12 runners take turns running for 2 days along the back of a mountain range.

The first race was fun. I can plan for the second.

Let’s go!

Have I said that before? Did it turn out ok? Sure!

I did three of those races. All of them were a beast. I learned to eat when I wasn’t hungry. Drink when I couldn’t imagine drinking one more drop. And sleep when I got home.

The last big leap frog race was done 8 years ago. I ran three times in 2 days.

The last leg

As I completed my last leg, I was going up a mountain after midnight. It was glorious.

Full view of stars above me. No one but me on the road. And I had a full face of tears falling with the pounding of my feet.

In rhythm to the crickets and the clear air and breathing.

I had run the race.

The goals were checked.

Pure relief and gratitude was felt.

Here is what I know about me and running.

I run to find my pace and my breath.

Coaches do their best to give me advice to help me run faster.

I did work again with a coach who knows this about me. This coach gave me a plan to increase my pace, my strength, and my endurance.

Oh yeah. The goals we made together.

When I enter a race now it is to see the beauty of the race route, to take pictures along the way, to help someone I meet.