I recently returned from a space where Occupational and Physical Therapists work. 

 

When I first walked into the large area, these small wooden stairs were in the middle of the walkway so that young children could more easily access them.

 

Are you wondering what they are for?  

 

Let me tell you. Therapists and children work together on goals that could include holding onto the side, using one foot and then two feet to go up. 

 

Staying steady when coming down.

 

What goes up gets to come down, right? Yes, and fun being included is part of the success!

 

I passed by these stairs five or six times as a meeting started and then equipment was delivered with a glance in their direction. 

 

Cute little stairs.  

 

I bet they have been used a lot this year. 

 

Will anyone be going up and down them today? 

 

That was the extent of my curiosity as the day started. 

Stairs against the wall

It wasn’t until the stairs were moved against the wall and the group I was with came back from lunch that this changed. 

 

Suddenly I was transported back in time when we had a small set of stairs in our two bedroom apartment. 

 

I saw the stairs and as quick as Captain Marvel I headed toward them. 

 

Then I walked up the two sided stairs and back down the three sided stairs. 

 

What?  Did you notice there were more on one side? 

 

Now you do. 

Calm center

I had a calm center as my muscle memory shimmered and settled back decades ago with a smile on my face. 

 

Turning to the group with me I casually said that we had a similar set of stairs in our small apartment that my brother made for our son after he came home from the hospital. 

 

He had survived his illness and needed to learn how to walk again.  That included how to go up and down stairs. 

 

As I said that the folks with me nodded like they heard this everyday from their friends, said that was cool and on we went with the meeting. 

 

No drama, no gasping or intrigue.  It was as much a part of life as the equipment we were discussing and the rest of what we saw around us. 

 

I looked at these stairs with gratitude and we went on with the day. 

There may have been questions between a few of them later and yet at this point they were accepting of what was and what is.  

 

Pause. Reflect. Hold space. Go forward. 

Truths

Now, let me tell you some truths here. 

 

First, that is not, I repeat, not the usual response I get.  

Many people do not know what to do when I mention our son and his experiences.  

 

They become uncomfortable or look for a way to bring in another story to compare. 

 

This group did not need to do that.  I am grateful for them.

The brother

Then, as I was driving home from this group I was able to think more about these stairs and the brother who made them.  

 

He was ready and on the spot to make whatever was needed for Dallin.

 

I called him and said we need a small set of stairs.  Can you help us? 

Did I list the reasons why the stairs were needed?  The therapists are doing it here, it will help him remember to walk, balance is important. 

 

Most likely.  My brother did not need reasons other than it was for Dallin.  

 

You bet, I can build stairs to somewhere. 

 

He probably asked for the size needed and then had them made, painted in contrasting colors to help with vision loss and delivered in days. 

 

What is that?  What causes someone who has tons o’ stuff going on already to do this? 

 

Y’all.  

Love

Oh yeah.  Love. The thing that drew people to our boy from the beginning.  

 

Finally, I told Brandon about this today. 

 

I shimmered, danced, then trembled at the feelings it brought back and it had been three days since I saw the stairs. 

 

Delayed collections of feelings.  Let’s call it that. 

 

At times, it is like the waves will never stop crashing and pushing me down with enormous memories. 

 

Tender?  Yes. 

 

Mammoth?  You bet. 

 

Do I come up with deeper awareness each time?  I did come up again this time so I count that as so far so good. 

 

These stairs transported me back in time with the speed of light and ease that surprised me. 

 

Even while I grin with gratitude at every moment and every person that popped into helping us, and especially Dallin, I become even more aware of the care it takes to be in this space. 

I traipse along

To be with others as I traipse along and notice small things like wooden stairs in my path. 

 

What to do, my friends?  

Here is my thought of the day. 

 

I will work to keep a soft heart as I feel every feeling, to align my spine and stay strong as the next wave is bound to come.  

 

Who wants to join me?  I am here so come watch the waves.