Scaffolding to Build Up Strength

 

Think back to a time when you needed a bit of extra strength to get over, under, around or through a moment. 

 

Perhaps it could be a time when you were looking for something to build you up. 

 

I have felt like I needed scaffolding to build up strength around chasms of feelings after times were tough in my life. 

 

These moments have come after a loss of someone golden to me, sudden change of longtime friends or an unexpected moment that leaves a wide-open space behind. 

 

Your list could be extensive or short. Either way, come with me as we consider a few perspectives

 

Take a look at the scaffolding around this massive building to get a look at how scaffolding has looked in one part of my life.

 

I had to look carefully to even see where the building was behind the structure that was placed around it at first. 

 

Do you see the small area of the light gray granite poking through the vertical poles and horizontal planks? Look again and you will see it near the lower left. 

 

Sometimes, I have needed strength added to my base, my building, to look like this. 

 

It has come one person one moment at a time. 

 

One hello, check in or hey how are you along with time to process big moments. 

 

Can you see that the original building can barely be seen? 

 

Yet, it is there. 

Scaffolding goes around to add strength

That’s how it works. Scaffolding goes around a building to add strength, right? 

 

What else? How does it all go up? 

Does it magically appear because it is needed?  Like Mumford waving his wand saying A-la Peanut Butter Sandwiches?

 

That would be marvelous and yet it is not likely. 

 

Here is what I found. 

Each piece is most likely put in place one at a time. 

 

Carefully, step by step and then section by section. 

 

Sounds like how I have found my way through big moments. 

 

Almost exactly, in fact. 

 

One time in particular went like this after a wide-open chasm was left gaping in my life. 

Lay out scaffolding

I found that I needed to lay out scaffolding over this massive gaping hole as it was not going to be filled. Ever, it seemed. 

 

The chasm felt like it stretched for a mile and was at least that deep.

 

The most exquisite space is one we create after a major event.

My friends, this was a life altering and doozy of an event. One that felt beyond approach and yet needed compassionate empathy from myself to begin to navigate. 

 

 So, I began to lay out one piece of plank over a hole in my heart and soul. This did not come quickly at first or ever. Nor do I think it was supposed to. 

 

Sometimes life is gnarly. 

Big stuff happens that doesn’t make sense. 

 

Each step, plank and pole I created in this scaffold led to increased connection with others who had been there and did that. 

 

Someone who had been along this bumpy road of looking into a giant hole of big life events. At times it was scary, unsure with no words needed. 

 

It became what I did daily or weekly or perhaps, after a reset, yearly to work on this build.

 

What I did alongside this was watch for the scaffolding to not, I repeat, not envelope me. To not create a cage around me. 

 

Brene’ Brown writes about creating a strong back, soft front and wild heart. 

Build me up

Did I need a bit of something to help build me up? At times, yes. 

 

I also wanted this something to leave my heart soft, the same soft heart that had been created by the one who is now missing. 

 

I’ll tell you this truth. 

That it is big time, upside down hard at times. 

 

At yet. 

In the same way that the scaffolding shown here, with poles and planks can hold up this massive building, so can mine.

 

Here is the next level of truth. 

 

Do you see that crane? That is taller than the building and stronger than the planks? 

I believe that is a key. 

Access more strength

There is a way to access more strength than planks and poles.

It is strength that is around us, that perhaps is silently waiting to lift the heavy stuff with us. 

To pull and push, nudge and settle in with us. 

 

It has happened for me in many ways. Including friends, best friend and those friends we call siblings. 

 

As each level of building up has happened for me. 

Here is what else I know. 

 

Building is tough and I am the one who gets to decide when I design, build strength and wait.

There are important things to learn at each step. 

 

Let’s go back to the beginning. 

Did you think of a time when you needed a bit of extra strength to get over, under, around or through a moment. 

 

May you have the planks, cranes and people you need, my friends, as you build around your big moments. 

 

I am here, ready to push or pull when needed with you.