The Point Is That They Lived 

 

There is a movie that has a quote that I often have in my mind. 

 

It is about a tale of two people who meet, create a story that cannot be believed by others over time and so their experiences turn into a fairy tale that takes on a life of its own. 

 

Once the story is told again by one who knows, the storyteller says, “And, while Cinderella and her prince *did* live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived.”

 

Why does this come to me? 

Let’s take a look at what that last line said again. 

 

The point is that they lived. 

M’Hm … that is it! 

 

Let me tell you a bit more about the impact this has had on my life and those around me. 

 

We can go back about 32 years for this story to begin. 

 

I know that is not as far back as when the story of Cinderella began and yet come with me this time. 

 

That time frame is when our son was born. Actually, it was 32 years and a few months ago. 

 

I tell you this for you to know that his story has a beginning. 

 

It also began with two people meeting and creating a story that cannot be believed at times. 

 

In fact, it is partly why I am drawn to quotes like this one. 

When the story with our son began it was also magical.

When the story with our son began it was also magical, including smiles, meeting grandmothers and introducing a prince who became more than we could imagine. 

 

At times our prince was the one who brought dancing to the front of the palace, or our home, until the clock would strike all the hours of the day and night. 

 

Not quite until midnight, as the story you may have in your mind recalls, and yet very close at times. 

His story took on its own life as he directed it and I was happy to dance, swing, and roll with it right alongside with him.

 

Life was as grand as a fancy ball with glass slippers and mice named Gus Gus.  

 

I was also able to meet and dance with other families who had their princes and princesses who also loved to dance through life. 

As in the movie, the point is that they lived.

As in the movie the point is that they lived and are also a part of me.

 

Recently I spoke about this with a friend whose son was close in age to ours. 

 

They both had lives filled with major medical and complex communication needs that were as individualized as they were. Their needs were filled in a variety of ways and they both lived every day how they wanted to.

Or mostly so, but isn’t that how most fairy tales go? 

 

As we talked about the book I wrote about our son, my friend paused and looked me in the eyes. 

It felt like she could see my soul. 

Our boys do matter, don’t they? They really did live, right?

She then said these words with a quiet force: Our boys do matter, don’t they? They really did live, right? 

 

Even though our sons did not spend time on stage or in front of large groups, they were not known by many people by the world’s standard, they did matter. Right?

 

The point is that they lived. 

 

Yes, my heart paused with her deep look as we took a breath together. 

 

My friend asked the question that makes me tremble now and will for years to come. 

 

Of course, our boys’ matter. They did then and they do now. 

 

Perhaps that is why the line from that movie holds me tightly. 

 

Is that not what we want for each of our children, family members, friends? 

 

Do we want to know that they did live? 

Here is what I have come to know.

Here is what I have come to know and how I will work to make it happen.

 

Each life is tremendously incredible.

The people I have come to know, including our son, have taught me to sit back and learn with them. 

 

What do I need to learn?

 

To dance.

Watch for magic.

That pure delight can be found in a smile. 

and then in the pause. 

Keep on my path through life even with the joyful chaos falling like confetti.

Sometimes the shoe that falls is not a glass slipper but maybe the Velcro will work just as well. 

 

Then I will do what I can to make this happen.

 

This can look like rolling into another phase with friends who ask questions that jolt me forward. 

 

Questions that keep me curious about how to roll with helping others remember that our sons were here, that their stories did happen and that like the original Cinderella,

that the point is that they lived. 

 

I will work to celebrate every moment that comes. 

The good, hard, gnarly, up, down, sideways, perplexing and by Jove, 

The ones intensely and deeply brilliant. So much so that I have to wear shades as I stand in my space in this universe. 

 

Taking time to do this may help me continue with my wonderings and writings. 

 

My friends, is there more to your story that may feel like others may not believe over time? 

Perhaps write it down and consider sharing it within your realm. 

 

You may be surprised who could benefit from what you have lived!