Line in the Sand

 

Have you been to a point in your life when you felt like there was no way you were going to change your position or change your thinking? 

 

Perhaps you have drawn a line in sand and said this is where I stand. 

 

This is as far as I can go. There is not one more step I can take physically or emotionally.

 

Think about this for a moment as I tell you about a few times that I have come to this way of thinking. 

Times where this way of being has become a difficult yet truthful part of my world. 

 

I want us to be here together with kindness and compassion, as you stand in your space, and I stand in mine.

 

Take one breath in and a very long breath out as we begin. 

 

Let’s begin with an observation I was able to see. 

 

When our son was young, other parents of people with disabilities would talk to me about what was coming next. 

 

Some families would tell me that I didn’t need to worry about what was coming next because I could soon have someone else take care of him. 

Their line in the sand had come.

Their line in the sand had come when others had begun taking care of their family member with a disability when they were very young. 

 

This is all I could do, they said, so don’t worry about teaching your son much more. It’s much too hard so don’t expect too much from him. 

 

It is difficult to change the systems of support. 

Why try? 

Isn’t it too hard to be a part of all those meetings? 

 

You don’t need to keep looking for what is going to help. 

 

I remember stopping to look at this individual and not having a response. 

 

The words did not even flow over me, and I walked away. 

Breathe in and out. 

 

Now we can continue. 

When we can’t imagine what a possible course could be.

When we can’t imagine what a possible course could be, what we may say or will do in a future event then a line can be drawn in the sand. 

 

Is there no possible way to change how this can be seen or experienced? 

 

It is unknown at this time because the event has not happened to those having the conversation. 

 

The person talking to me at that time had their perspective and I was going to have mine. 

We went forward with an open outlook and did continue to teach and learn with our son. 

 

The chorus of fishes with dreams started to come to life. 

The line in the sand was not there for him.

He did stay in our home throughout his life, and we did work to change the systems of support for him and others. 

The line in the sand was not there for him. 

 

There have been other times for me when I have said there is not one more thing I will do in a situation. 

 

I had not been able to see a possible way to go one more step in a direction I was headed until…

 

Until the situation needed me to see the next step. 

 

Stick with me on this as I tell you about one more experience from an upside-down part of my world. 

 

As our son’s health declined, many years later and he needed to receive more medical services at home, I often found myself going into a conflicted role of wanting to do more for him to find relief from his stressors while working to follow advice from others on his team.

How much I was willing to agree to.

Lines were drawn in the sand about how much I was willing to agree to testing and procedures after talking with Brandon. 

 

No more visits to the office. 

 

Gone were the days of doing lab work to check for medication levels. 

 

Treatment for illness was done by telemedicine and phone. 

 

Until a long conversation about a final test that needed to be done in a hospital. 

 

Here is where we talk about lines in the sand, my friend. 

 

Is there a true point to sand being the place we draw this line? Do you and I see that sometimes it is sand that can be smudged, moved and altered? 

Can we move the line?

If the need is great and the outcome is a must then can we move the line? 

 

The important part to me at the time was to not stand until my ego got in the way with this line. 

 

The line was not the thing, it was our son. His needs were the most important target and goal for my eye to keep in my mind. 

 

I took a breath and walked right up to that line and erased it. Kept a focus on the goal to help our son find relief and stay in contact with his medical team. 

 

The next step was taken, and a new line was drawn with his life and goals in mind. 

 

My heart began to find peace and so we moved forward again.

 

A final thought as we all ponder this together. 

What about the line in the sand that is set in stone with such need?

 

A level of respect for all in the space is needed to build trust.

Here is the way that I will be able to participate with your organization. 

I love to spend my time with you and others when we are working together. Thank you for being here with me. 

A clean line can be made.

A clean line can be made by us with exactness. I know I have done this at times as I set my line in the stone. 

 

What happens when forces beyond our control still break the line?

 

When these or other parts of us are then broken by others, it can feel like we no longer have our space. 

Our line has been moved by someone else and that can change levels of peace and goals. 

 

What do we do then? 

Can we begin again with a new line in the sand and say here is where I stand? This is where I will not move from? 

 

Until.

 

These are the questions I continue to roll with as I move from one line to another. 

Perhaps it will become a new dance that I can learn to drum with for now. 

How about you? 

 

Let’s play with the lines in the sand and build from here.