Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

 

Let’s dip a toe into a quote that has been said for many years. 

 

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going. 

What do you feel when you hear this phrase? 

 

I may have heard someone say this when I was growing up, but it came into my world with full force when others said it during our son’s life.

 

At times it felt like I needed to pull myself up by the bootstraps to keep going. 

 

A few moments stand out and yet we can talk about the quote first. 

 

How do you pull yourself up?  

 

To me it felt like I needed to do this on my own. 

 

Make sure those bootstraps are going to be strong and so did my own fingers. 

 

By the way, have you tried getting boots on without bootstraps? 

 

I have when I was younger, and it is near impossible. 

 

The boots were dang cute, but I had to stomp them into place to get those boots on! 

 

I even had to get them in a bigger size so I could then get them off because there was no way to hold onto the side of the boot and to pull them off. 

The need to do all of this on your own.

Now, think about the need to do all of this on your own when something extra is going on and not only when boots are cute, and life is going well. 

 

When this phrase was said to me many years ago, things were changing with our son.

 

 

When we found out our son had a progressive muscle wasting disease that was affecting his endurance and strength, it was time to have him start using a wheelchair. 

He did not agree as he was the one who helped others and pushed them, so we were introducing the idea to him one step at a time. 

 

The day I received an accessible parking placard for our car came after a few weeks of planning. 

This day was a powerful one as I came to school to pick up our son. 

 

Dallin was becoming weaker, and it was time to change our path with him. 

 

I arrived and parked in the accessible parking spot for the first time. 

 

Then my breath left me as I entered the building. 

Change was here for Dallin, and I was going with him. 

 

As I walked to the car with him my emotions gathered in the corner of my eyes. 

One of the people there told me quietly that it was time.

Dallin slowly walked to the car with support and then one of the people there told me quietly that it was time for me to pull myself up by my bootstraps.

 

I paused and came to a new awareness that day.

 

Now, here is what I felt like. 

 

In a space that could have been supportive on a first day of new access being in place for our son with complex medical needs, it instead became a moment of checking myself and holding back. It instead felt like a massive need was mine to do alone. 

 

This day felt impossible, and it was mine to do. Step it up or I was not doing this well enough. Get the bootstraps going. 

 

Perhaps it was not meant to feel that way. 

 

Yet, being told to pull yourself up by your bootstraps in an emotional moment told me many things. 

Here is what I learned about bootstraps.

Here is what I learned about bootstraps that day and as I shared with others in my realm. 

 

We are not meant to be alone during times of intense need. 

 

There are moments that we can share our emotions that gather in the corners of our eyes and then allow the support to come. 

Yes, they do fall over the edges occasionally when I’m having a Dallin moment and the granny hanky is used. 

 

Changes are going to continue, and we can allow others to be there with us. 

 

How did I learn this? 

 

As I grew to trust others again after this one time of not receiving support, I had a friend who found what you see here. 

 

A boot on a strong strap that has been on my keyring since. 

 

This incredible friend looked deep into my eyes and told me that they would be there to help me pull up my bootstraps with me. 

 

Can I tell you something?  This has remained true since then and you can see that this old boot has been through many years of life. 

 

Here is another thing that I now know. 

What we question in the beginning.

The thing that makes us stronger is what we question in the beginning. 

I did not think that I could park in the accessible parking when Dallin first needed that support. 

 

That was for others we helped, not for the Tall One who was always running and would always be here. 

 

And then we kept going. 

The bootstraps stayed strong, and I pulled up on them again and again. 

 

I now hear someone say this to another and wonder if they will stay by that person, help them pull up on those bootstraps and do whatever is needed. 

 

Let’s do that, my friends. 

 

Pull on what is needed to get done together. No one needs to do this alone.