This week was Christmas.  

 

In our house we have a tradition that goes with it on Christmas Eve where we watch a video from the last year of opening gifts.  This has been going on for more than 25 years. 

 

It came about as a way to remind our son of what would happen in the morning, Christmas morning. 

 

The entire video shows us waiting as a family, talking about who is coming over, building excitement as the minutes stretch on and then opening present after present while laughing all the way. 

 

This was one more way to prepare him for what could have been confusing at times, to build in predictability and to let him become excited as he remembered how much love and joy was coming.   Soon. 

Golden Years

It was a time of joy that we call the golden years.  

 

As we now watch other videos that show times where our family was in a grand time of learning and growing and, dare I say, having adventures that others did not see, we are reminded again and again that there is a pocket of time that was indeed golden.  

 

Untouchable. 

 

Sweet. 

 

Not perfect by any means, as we now have the vision of the future that can tell us what other things came in a medical and mental health realm for this son of ours. 

 

And yet. Shiny and Dazzling all the same. 

 

There is a song by David Bowie that has been playing in my head for years. It strums often as I think about the rhythm that came into our home. 

 

Bop bop bop.

 

Golden years.  

Flow

To us this means that the phases of learning are automatic and ongoing. Smiles happen with open eyes and the beauty of trust, give and take and glimmer in the eye that says let’s keep this flow going. 

 

One video we watched this week did not have sound and another one did.  The message was the same  

They were ones that had been on old VHS tape and then recently moved over to DVDs.  

 

Can you believe it?  We still had the old VHS tapes around.  

I know!  We barely saved a couple of them.

 

Shake your heads with us in great disbelief. 

 

One of the other videos we watched this year was one from 2003 when Dallin was 12.  

Go back in time with me and picture this. 

 

There is a bedroom with a bookshelf, dresser, bed and toys. In the middle of the room is enough space to rough house and spread-out games.

 

Right before the bedtime routine it is time to whip around toys in a specific way.  Who decided this way? 

 

You can probably guess. 

 

Yes!  You are correct.  It is Dallin with the help of Brandon. 

In this video, the laughter was right in time with the tossing of the stuffed animal toys that went along with the quick-fire sign language to direct who was to go where and when. 

 

Dad, go there. Wait, now! Stop, look Where?  Surprise! Now, come on!  Go again, come one come on. Wait. Wait Waaiiittt. Go! 

 

A toy pops into the air, disappears over the edge of the bed, is caught again and whirls back to the original owner all in a matter of seconds.  

Soundtrack

The soundtrack of whoa, ha-ha-ha, no-ah, I’m-gonna-get-ya was in perfect timing with constant directions given by both of these two similar souls. 

 

As the video continued, it showed more conversations while playing and dancing and reading and learning.  Negotiations happen at every turn.  

 

It was time to get cleaned up after playing in the sand at the end of the last video we watched. Dallin is not sure about the hours of play time being over so there is a moment of truth when he signs ‘no don’t want’ down low in the shot. 

 

I am grinning as I watch this!  So spectacular.  I actually am cheering in the present time and it’s me in the video with him.  

 

The next moment shows what happened so often it became part of life in our home. The discussion was golden. He signed no and then waited.  I added a second part of a choice as a return. 

 

A conversation is two people taking turns and seeing what comes next. 

 

Here was the second part. How about bubbles in the bath today?

 

That seemed to be worth consideration.  Dallin thinks about it for a moment, brightens with the prospect and agrees to clean up so the bath could come next. 

 

Options were given in a conversation.

Pay attention

Imagine it.  A natural conversation captured on video.   

Do we pay attention to the everyday parts of life enough?  

 

Goodness.  I hope you do. We all could. 

 

Now, those conversations are magical, cheer worthy and moments we hold dear. 

 

They are also golden. 

 

Those years when Dallin was between 11-15 years old were when he was at the beginning then height of his learning, willingness and ability to step into new things. 

 

Step into any adventure on a ski slope, horseback, boat or day trip.  

 

Soak in new sign language and communication devices with curiosity and skill.

 

The time to help others move into a new home, remodel rooms in our house, decide what colors to paint his room, try new food and learn how to do chores was now. 

 

Do you remember the meaning of the golden years?  To us it is this.  

When life is in a pattern and rhythm and all around there is space for each person to be who they are. 

 

Not perfect. And Yet.

 

To be in a time of joy and of looking forward with the people around us. Time flies when we are in this space.  It surely did for us then.  

 

Find your rhythm and dance to it, my friends.

Bop bop bop.  Golden years.