Shadow of Myself

I took some time recently to reflect on times that had come to me over many years. 

There were days that rolled into my mind that brought lightness and joy and other moments that seemed to bring a pause as feelings bubbled over my eyes and down my cheeks. 

As I sat a few times, I could see a shadow of myself suddenly becoming more solid in my vision. 

My beginning was here. 

Days from long ago when my view of the world was open. My goals were to have fun, get to a playground with snacks at the ready and laugh with the small one who was with me. 

These days brought sun kissed cheeks, ice cold popsicles, piles of soft stuffed animals that tumbled with laughter and fast tracks of naps before another part of the day began. 

A ball cap was at the ready for both of us as the days seemed to melt into one another. Throwing on a cap made it so we were ready to play fast and save time every day. 

There was never enough time before dinner needed to be made, bath toys filled the water around soft toes and then books were read to bring calm to a joyful chaos.

This was a life I didn’t know I was going to love being in. 

Now I was finding flow in each moment with this young one. 

Chaos became part of the game as more shadows cleared up.

Chaos became part of the game as more shadows cleared up before me the longer I sat. 

I caught a deep look at what I was before and realized these two things. 

Changes have indeed come to me as I am now a shadow of myself after this beginning. 

It was almost a surprise as I saw this come before me one day.  

I had been with my husband in the sunshine to help him help others. 

This was what we did for years before and now I was back with him, one more time. 

As I trampled across the grass I glanced to my right. 

This view came to me, and I needed to stop. 

What made me stop, my friends? 

This was the view. It was who I was so many decades before. 

Do you see what is outlined? My heart rolled over one more time.

It was a reminder of the collateral beauty that had been in my life. 

The cap on my head and the long comfy shirt is what I wore with that young one who was ready to have snacks and play. 

Can you feel a quick nap coming on as the energy with emotions flow over you? 

Feeling a pause, gratitude, joy, grand memories, enthusiasm, and yearning for those years came to me all again. 

This is when I found the second part of having a shadow of myself.

I’ll tell you that this is when I found the second part of having a shadow of myself presented back to me. 

There were times when I didn’t know what to do with the feelings that came. 

It was then that I knew that I needed to learn more. Shadows can come with what is unknown and I decided I wanted to know about the feelings. 

What I learned was that emotions are part of life. All that I had been through was okay. 

My shadows were a part of me. It turns out that knowing about emotions was good, powerful and brought me gratitude that day.

Perhaps that is why my eye caught the shadow to my right.  

Being reminded of my shadows and my purpose has created a reason to look forward to the sunlight. 

It also helped me follow each feeling and let them flow. 

Have you wondered how you have become who you are now? Are the shadows of your life in the corners of your eyes?

Follow them with me. They may show you where you are going next!