Grounding When it Becomes Too Much

This has taken me a couple days to write. Have you done that? Something happens. You know the words to say and yet… you wait. Wait until your breath comes back.

That is why these words are coming as I find my feet and my breath again. After it becomes too much. Again.

A set of red rocks were given to me on a trip to the opposite end of the state from where I live. It’s a part of the state where I love to visit and will go to in the blink of an eye.

That is what I did to be with people I care about, and love to support and then rocks were given to me that had been gathered. Oh my heart.  

Given to me by someone who also cares about the people we were with, who will do all she can to support people she cares about And… she loves rocks. I love rocks. 

They help ground me.

There is something about picking up a rock when it catches your eye and holding it and saying, yes, this rock means something to my soul.  They help ground me and bring me back again. 

I took these rocks with me from the opposite end of the state and back on the road with me to go home. Taking the kindness with me and off I went back on the road and headed home.

The road I took is one I have traveled often in the past decades to and from this opposite end of the state. I found the flow of the traffic and off I went. 

My water, my sunglasses and my gratitude for the good things found on this quick trip were all with me. A good ol’ book on CD (yes, on CD) was playing.

The things I could see and hear helped me feel grounded right away as I headed for home.

And then, a few hours into my return trip I stopped to stretch, look at the sky and get some lunch.  I noticed that I was making great time as I set off again to get home and remembered that I love road trips.

And then, things changed quickly. 

I was going around a large truck and I must have been in the spot where the driver could not see me as suddenly the driver was signaling to come into the lane that I. Was. In. 

Right where I was there! in that lane!

The moments of clarity became rapid heart rate and honking horns and moving quickly, ever so quickly, oh so quickly onto the gravel shoulder and yet not too far as to hit any of the tall metal poles that line the road before the ravine. 

Can you feel your heart pick up speed?  

Mine is with you! I sped up as well as I could to avoid the smack-scape-roll that might have come and do not remember blinking for what felt like hours and yet was only seconds. 

The driver must have heard me at the first honk of the horn because he rolled right back over and it was done. Thank you for being a great responsive driver!

Done and I was ahead of the truck.  Back on the road. Safe, I promise I was. 

I was no longer feeling grounded.

The music and the water was still there, but I was no longer feeling grounded.  

I can tell you I was. Although, my body did not believe me. The flight was in full action.  It was saying full speed ahead.  

I was saying no, we are safe. Can you see the open road? It is done.

Breathe. No, my body was reacting and I was working to act. Come back to the front of the brain. You can do this, brain.

Breathe.

And I did. I began to use every breathing technique I could remember. Yoga breathing. Four Square breathing.  Parasympathetic breathing. Nope.

Not going to get the flight reaction to be done. Yet.

Ok. Let’s go to grounding at a different level. 

5 – things I can see. 

4 – things I can touch. 

3 – things I can hear. 

2 – things I can smell. And 

1 – thing I can taste. 

What is that I taste?  Salt? Tears. Tears? Ok. That is ok. Leaky eyes are ok.  Let’s try this again. 5,4,3,2,1.

And then. The rocks came into my memory. Who is my rock? Think, think think.  Brandon. I needed to hear Brandon.

That did it. 

Brandon’s voice brought calm and strength and the front of the brain to its memory that breathing and grounding works. 

Sometimes the voice outside of my mind is what I need. Sometimes it is what all of us need.

That is what rocks do. They remind us where we come from and the good things that are here. It is what these rocks did for me in a surprising way on a surprising day.

It becomes too much.

When it becomes too much and difficult moments stretch into intense days, is there more we can do? 

It might be when a person reaches out to others who are going through a similar experience, time or moment. 

There may be a group of people we can sit with to look into another set of eyes, and not need to say a word. 

Other times may call for road trips where every word in the book is flung around and still held tenderly. 

It’s when it became too much.

What I felt on that trip that tossed me onto the side of the road was both of these things. It’s when it became too much that I did everything I knew how to do.

That’s when I find more rocks beyond the trees to see and remember who I’ve been. When I was doing more and becoming someone while feeling grounded with dirt under my feet. 

It also gave me seconds to feel deeply, hold onto a support from a distance and then breathe. 

Perhaps you have felt a time when being grounded could be helpful when things whirl around you.

Let’s do it together, my friends.